New Tricks
by Kirixchi
Summary: Loki finally learns what it is like to be on the wrong side of a practical joke. One-shot. Complete.


**New Tricks**

**By Kirixchi**

"You should have seen Volstagg's face when he bit down!" Loki's green eyes gleamed with mirth as he recounted his latest prank. "He went completely still and his cheeks started turning red. He sat there almost a full minute trying to figure out whether to spit or to swallow before he finally jumped up and started screaming for water!"

Loki's young wife, Sigyn, made a cooing sound of approval and offered her husband a cup of wine.

Loki accepted the goblet and took a long drink before sinking down onto one of their couches.

"Of course, I made certain that there wasn't a pitcher…he ended up sticking his head into one of the troughs. Everyone was roaring with laughter!"

Loki paused and looked up to ensure that Sigyn was still paying attention. As he expected, the girl was hanging on every word.

"And Volstagg never suspected anything?"

Loki couldn't decide whether Sigyn's attention was endearing or pathetic or, more importantly, whether it was an act or sincere. He supposed that she was simply making the best of a bad situation. When Odin Allfather commanded their marriage, declaring that it was well past time for his sons to give him heirs, Sigyn had been even less enthusiastic than Loki. She was already engaged to a man named Theoric- a man it was rumored that she loved. Still, she honored her Lord's request. She broke off her engagement to become Loki's bride. Ever since the wedding, Sigyn had devoted herself to the prince, catering to his every whim, laughing at all of his jokes and following him around like a Midgardian puppy. Sigyn got very little in return. Loki made it quite clear that he had entered into the marriage under sufferance. He was polite, but distant, concentrating on his sorcery and his mischief rather than his young bride- he hadn't even taken her to bed! Despite this, Sigyn's campaign for his approval was relentless. Loki couldn't decide if she was making progress or not. If nothing else, he enjoyed having an audience to regale with his exploits.

Sigyn seemed especially rapt this evening. She was leaning toward him, hands clasped together anxiously as she awaited Loki's reply.

"No, Volstagg never suspected anything," Loki said, and then took another sip of wine. "That fat pig would never dream of questioning why a haunch of boar was sitting in the middle of the stables. People are so predictable. They see what they want to see and never consider anything else or question why. It's almost _too _easy to fool them."

"Oh…but Muspelheim Peppers!" Sigyn chewed her bottom lip and looked worried. "Can't too much be dangerous? What if he had been hurt?"

Loki frowned harshly, and then enjoyed the way that the Sigyn instantly recoiled, horrified at the thought that she had displeased her husband.

"I mean…of course you were careful, dearest! I just…it's…"

Loki let his wife squirm for an instant before putting her out of her misery with a condescending smile and a pat on the head. "He was fine, Sigyn. The only thing harmed was his pride."

"Did he know that it was you?"

"I'm sure that he suspected."

"Oh, but darling!" Sigyn's pale blue eyes suddenly filled with concern. "Wasn't he angry? What if he tries to get revenge?"

"Revenge on me?" Loki's lips twisted into a bemused grin. "Oh, I'd like to see _that_. Thor's hammer is sharper than that oaf- and I can easily outrun his ax."

"But what if he tries to trick you?"

"Sweeting…" Loki reached out to pet Sigyn's hair again and drawled the endearment as though he were speaking to a child. "No one is capable of tricking me."

"No one?" Loki failed to notice the flash in Sigyn's eyes.

"No one," He repeated firmly.

"Would you care to make a wager on that?"

Loki blinked in surprised, and then laughed. Sigyn's naivety could sometimes be quite droll. "_Anything_," he said with supreme arrogance. "The man who tricks Loki Odinson is welcome to name his prize."

"Or woman?" Sigyn pressed.

"Or woman," Loki agreed and then swatted her on the bottom. "Now tuck yourself into bed, child. I have some work to do."

* * *

><p>Loki was deeply engrossed in a history of the Jotun war when he heard a loud crash in the front of the library, followed by Sigyn's voice.<p>

"LOKI! Oh, Loki! You have to come home quickly!"

The gnarled old librarian skittered out from behind his desk and tried to shush the princess, but Sigyn blanked him completely and continued to her husband's side. "Oh, Loki! You have to fix it! I don't know what to do!"

"Fix _what_?" Loki said impatiently. Sigyn didn't strike him as the sort of girl that was prone to melodrama- but he couldn't imagine anything happening in the bucolic life of an Asgardian princess that would warrant such excitement.

"It's Thor!" Sigyn sniffed. For the first time, Loki noticed the gleam of moisture in her wide blue eyes. "Oh, Loki! You have to help him!"

"Help him, _how?"_

"I…" Sigyn bit her lip and whimpered. "I turned him into a rock!"

For a moment, Loki simply stared in disbelief, but then he jumped up out of his chair. "You did _what?"_

"I turned him into a rock!" Sigyn sniffled. "And I don't know how to turn him back…I..I didn't do it on purpose!" she added, as if this were necessary to confirm.

Loki was already sprinting toward the door. He was panting by the time that he reached his chambers. He burst through the door of their rooms at least twenty yards ahead of Sigyn, and so she wasn't present to hear him swear at the sight that met his eyes.

A half-dozen spell books were scattered on the table where he took his meals, but they weren't what caught his attention. Mjölnir was laying beside the table, and next to that, Thor's scarlet cloak was crumpled on the carpet. There, nestled in the center was his brother's great winged helm, and when he lifted it up…

"See!" Sigyn had finally caught up to Loki. She hovered in the doorway, her face red with exertion and unshed tears.

"What did you do?" Loki demanded in a low growl.

"I was only trying to help him!" Sigyn wailed. She cowered at Loki's fierce expression. "He came here looking for you. He wanted something to strengthen his armor…to make it hard as granite…and I've seen you do magic so many times that I just thought…" her voice trailed off.

Loki closed his eyes for a moment to steady his nerves. Then, very gently, he scooped Thor up off of the floor. "It's going to be allright," he assured the stone. "I'm sure that this is very simple. I'll figure out what Sigyn did and have you back to normal in no time."

Loki put Thor on the sofa where he thought that he would be comfortable and then turned back to his wife. "Now, show me _exactly_ which spell you used."

"That one!" Sigyn said, gesturing toward an open page in a red leather book. She ran her fingertip over the words and then frowned. "Er…I mean…" Sigyn sifted through the stacks until she rooted out a scroll. "Maybe it was this one."

"_Maybe?"_ Loki asked, his heart sinking.

"Uhm…yes?" Sigyn said, but didn't sound certain.

Loki bit his tongue to keep from lashing out at Sigyn. Right now he wanted nothing so much as to turn _her_ into a rock- but that wouldn't solve his problem. Odin frowned on Loki's obsession with sorcery and some of the books had been "borrowed" without the Allfather's permission. That alone would earn Loki a scolding. He didn't want to _think_ about what the king would do if his beloved son remained a paperweight!

Loki abandoned the books and walked back over to the couch.

"Don't worry, Thor!" he said, feigning more confidence than he felt. "It's just a matter of finding the proper disenchantment…it shouldn't take long at all."

An hour and a half later, Loki's confidence was fading quickly. Sigyn had wisely decided to stay out of her husband's way as he wracked his brain for every reversal spell that he knew. _Nothing_ was working.

At last, he ran out of ideas. He squatted on the floor in front of the couch and put his head in his hands.

"Loki…?" Sigyn said quietly after a few minutes. "What are we going to do?"

"We haven't got any choice, have we?" Loki hissed. "We'll have to take him to Allfather."

As much as Loki resented it, Odin had mysterious powers that Loki had not yet learned to wield. He was their only hope.

Sigyn picked up Thor's helmet and cloak and started toward the couch, but Loki waved her aside.

"_I_ will tend to my brother," Loki said. Very carefully, he slid Thor onto a velvet cushion which he held close against his chest.

The citizens of Asgard stopped to stare as the prince and princess hurried through the palace.

"Where are you going with Thor's helmet?" Sif called out as she saw them passing. She and the Warriors Three fell into the couple's wake as they continued toward Odin's hall.

The King of Asgard was engrossed in a conversation with his council, but he paused at the sight of Loki and Sigyn and the great crowed that followed behind them. He rose from his throne.

"My son?" he said to Loki. He squinted at the stone that the Prince carried- and then frowned when he saw Sigyn carrying the cloak and helmet that belonged to Thor. "What is this?"

"Father," Loki said, dropping to his knees. "We need your help. My…I..._Sigyn_... has…er…"

Odin took a step forward. "Out with it!" he demanded impatiently.

Loki dropped his head. "Thor has been…he…that is…Thor is a rock."

Everyone in the crowd seemed to suck in their breath in unison.

"A rock?" The Allfather boomed. If Loki didn't know better, he would have sworn that the old man was fighting a smile.

Loki couldn't bring himself to answer. Despite the huge gathering, the room was almost silent- until a new voice echoed through the chamber.

"Now, brother. I know you've never been impressed with my wit- but it isn't as bad as that!"

Loki's head shot up. For a second, he didn't believe what he saw: Thor stepped out from behind the great throne. His golden head was uncovered and he was missing his cape, but he was casually tossing Mjölnir as he walked.

"But…you-!" Loki looked down at the stone he was carrying. "The spell…Sigyn said-!" He turned his gaze to Thor again- just in time to catch him throw a wink to Sigyn.

Loki spun toward his wife.

Sigyn's blue eyes were wide and guileless, but she was biting her lip again. When Loki looked very closely, he could see that it was shaking. He kept staring. Eventually, it was too much. Sigyn opened her mouth and her little body convulsed into laughter. "Oh, Loki! You were right! People are very easy to fool."

"SIGYN!" Loki growled. He dropped the rock as if it were burning. His cheeks were flaming and his fingers clenched in rage. _How dare Sigyn try to trick him_ he seethed, unable to admit that it was a successful attempt. He wanted to get away- but he couldn't move quickly enough. In mere seconds, the story had made its way around the hall. Soon it seemed as if the walls themselves were shaking in laughter at the trickster prince.

* * *

><p>Sigyn wisely allowed Loki a few hours to lick his wounds before she headed home. The door to their chambers was warded shut, but she quickly defeated the spell and slipped inside.<p>

Loki was sitting on one of the couches, staring sullenly into the fireplace at the center of the room. His eyes flickered upwards at Sigyn's entrance, then he pointedly looked away.

Sigyn ignored him completely. With the chime of a silver bell she ordered a tray of dinner. When it arrived, she pushed aside Loki's spell books and settled at the table to eat.

More than half an hour passed in total silence before Loki deigned to speak.

"Well?" he said, still refusing to look at her. "Don't you have something to say to me?"

Sigyn took her time replying. She finished swallowing a bite of bread, washed it down with a sip of wine and then shrugged her slender shoulders. "Not particularly."

"Oh, really?" Loki's tone was petulant. "An apology, perhaps?"

"But darling…an apology would imply that I'm sorry…and I'm not."

"No?" Loki rose from the couch and glared at his wife. "You enjoyed humiliating me then? I suppose this is some of your famous loyalty?"

"It was a _joke_, Loki," Sigyn answered and then tacked on an exasperated sigh. "Just like the joke that you played on Volstagg."

"It's different," Loki muttered.

Sigyn ignored him. "What was it you said that day? That people see what they want to see? Perhaps_ I_ find it rather disloyal that you honestly believe me stupid enough to turn your brother into a rock."

"Magic can be complicated," Loki said under his breath, but Sigyn noted the tiniest hint of embarrassment coloring his face.

"For the record…" she said. When she was certain that Loki was looking, she swirled her fingers in a delicate arc. One of pillows on the couch levitated into the air, turned once and then transformed into stone. It fell to the ground and shattered on the floor. Then, before Loki could speak, Sigyn made another gesture that returned the object to its original form and place.

Loki gaped.

"I never knew that you were schooled in magic."

"You never asked," Sigyn retorted.

Loki didn't have an answer for that.

"There is a lot about me that you don't know." Very tentatively, she reached out to stroke Loki's cheek. Loki made no move to reciprocate Sigyn's touch, but he didn't shy away. Encouraged, she moved closer still, so that their bodies were but a handbreadth apart.

"I would like to claim my prize now."

Loki jolted. "Your _prize_?" He nearly spat the words.

"Your wager," Sigyn reminded him. "You said that the one who tricked Loki Odinson could name his-or her- prize…You gave your word."

Loki laughed. "I am not known for honoring my oaths."

"And I am not known for breaking mine," Sigyn countered. "I promise you this: that you will know no rest until you award my forfeit. Others may have allowed you to slip their nets, but you will find, husband, that I can be quite single-minded."

Loki finally allowed himself a tiny smile. He was surprised and rather pleased to discovery the steely spine beneath the meek mask that Sigyn always wore. For the first time, he felt that he might like to know her better.

"So tell me, wife…" he asked in a playful tone. "What is the price of peace?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN : Just a bit of fluff...not so serious this time, so maybe SOMEONE will leave a review (*heavy hint* please imagine seriously cute pleading puppy-dog-eyes too). FYI, the "Price of peace" is a bit of smut-tacular-ness which can be accessed at the NorseKink thread on livejournal where I found the prompt that inspired this story. I will post the link on my profile page so that readers of sufficient age and insufficient morals can find it ;)**


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